What is schizoaffective disorder/What is my condition

As I said, I have schizzoaffective disorder. It is something like a combitantion of schizophrenia and bipolar disorder.
I have diagnosed manic type of this illness. But in recent years I had also problems with depression and anxiety.

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I had three episodes of illness. Main symptoms were delusions and mania.
I was full of joy. It is hard to cure this ilness because mania could seem very cool for patient. First two years of my illness I haven´t even believe it is an illness. And do you know what? Sometimes I still believe it is not JUST the ilness. It is very strange state of mind. I felt like I was very close to an understanding of some higher truth.
That states of mind still fascinate me. But now I am much more "normal". I take medication every day and try to live my life like people without mental illness.